Bludgeoned
by BloodandRosePetals
Summary: No spoilers
1. Chapter 1

"Pickle?" asked Toki softly from across the table.

"What is it Toki?!" Pickles snapped. "Can't you see I'm in the middle of something?" Pickles and Skwisgaar had been arguing for the passed twenty minutes. Pickles was just about to the point of knocking the consciousness out of Skwisgaar. However, Skwisgaar was relaxed continuously playing his guitar with ease. But Toki could tell Skwisgaar was becoming frustrated.

"Nothin's..." Toki was actually wondering where Nathan had been. He hadn't shown up for the passed several meetings.

"Please, settle down," said Charles Ofdensen in a calm manner as always. "You can settle your differences after the meeting." After a few more moments of softened arguing, they did as were told. "But first we have to talk about the obvious. The next album will ship off tomorrow, but we'll need your approval on the album cover before shipping. However, to do so, Nathan also has to be here to sign. But as you can tell, he's late once again."

"I can gos and finds him!" volunteered an energetic Toki. He was now on a search for the missing Nathan Explosion. However, to Toki's disappointment of a non-adventure, Nathan was only in his room.

Nathan was lying in his bed facing away from the door.

"Hey, Na'tan?" asked Toki. "We haves meeting nows. We needs your opinion ons de album."

"Just tell them I said it's fine the way it is..." he mumbled wearily. Toki could see now that Nathan wasn't himself.

"What's wrongs?"

"Just leave me alone." Toki frowned.

"Yous not like this. Did somethings happens?"

"I said leave me alone..." he said more firm.

"Alrights...comes and talks to mes anytimes. Okay? I leaves yous alones now..." He walked out of the room with a heavy heart.

Almost down the hall, he heard Nathan's voice.

"Toki?" he called still sounding jaded. With quick steps, Toki returned. This time Nathan was sitting up in his bed with his eyes on the door. When Toki reached the door frame, their eyes locked.

"Yes, Na'tan?"

"Uuuh...you know how I feel about talking about my feelings." Nathan rubbed the back of his neck with tension. "But since it's just you, then it's okay, I guess..."

"Okay?"

"Well, you know, I want to find that one person that loves me for me. And I've been really depressed about it with me getting older, you know, and having not found her yet. I'm about to just give up."

"Yous will finds her one day. Yous almost dids many times before. Yous so close. Don't gives up now."

Nathan, now looking up at Toki, gave an inquisitive look. Then, his eyebrows dropped in ire.

"Don't say a word of this," Nathan Explosion warned, "or I'll strangle you in your sleep."

Toki grinned.

"I promise."

Toki was glad to help Nathan out with his love problem. That was just who Toki Wartooth was. And he was surely not going to tell anyone as Nathan warned. But it wasn't what Nathan had threatened to make him keep the secret. It was because Toki was smart enough to understand that having love issues wasn't 'brutal enough' as Nathan always said.

Just as Toki assured, a week later Nathan had chosen a girl. And Nathan appeared to be very happy with this one, too. However, as Nathan's happiness grew, so did Toki's sadness.

Toki had no idea why, but every time he saw them both together he was hit with negative emotions. He was becoming more and more confused and depressed each day.

"I just needs to finds my own girl," he told himself. "I want de sames love Na'tan has." Maybe that was all he needed. Or... "Maybes, it not ams girl I needs..." Toki had actually been feeling quite neglected by the band. Including Nathan. Maybe he just wanted to know for sure he cared about him. He needed to get Nathan's attention somehow. But how was he to do that?

Toki proceeded into the kitchen and opened a full bottle of vodka.


	2. Chapter 2

Toki sucked down the entire bottle of vodka that night. And the next day, Toki had a different drink in his hand. He sat slouching on the couch next to Pickles holding a dazed look at the TV.

"Toki?" Pickles said suspiciously. "Is that my Bourbon?"

"Calms downs! Its just ams little drink..." He took the last swig from the bottle.

"You're drunk."

"What?! Yous not drunk, I'm drunk!" The bottle slipped from his fingers. "I means, you-yous...I...never mind-where my drink go?..." With a blurry upper stare at Pickles, Toki saw his empty bottle in the palm of his hand.

"Gives it backs, Pickle..." Toki reached for it weakly.

"It's empty, Toki."

"Fines then!" He climbed slowly to his feet, "Is go gets another one!" and stumbled into the kitchen.

After grabbing another bottle of alcohol, he noticed through drunken eyes Nathan standing in the doorway.

"You haven't been to practice in a couple days," Nathan complained. "What's the deal?"

"Nothin's..."

"Uh, is that Pickles liquor?"

"...Nothin's..."

"Toki." Nathan got a little closer. "Put the bottle back and go lay down. You need to be sober to play."

"...No."

Nathan grew angry fast.

"Don't make me kill you," he threatened. "Because I will." Toki gazed at the irritated Nathan Explosion for a few short moments.

"What ifs I don't wants to?"

Nathan said without emotion, "I'll kick you out of the band."

A tear had formed in Toki's eye and rolled down his cheek before he knew it. With a heavy heart, he threw the full bottle of alcohol at Nathan's feet.

"Fine!" shouted the heart broken Toki angrier than ever before. As quickly as he could, he stumbled his way out of the kitchen and up to his room.

"I knews he didn't cares about me..." Toki said to no one currently rocking himself gently on his bed trying not to vomit. But the rocking wasn't helping. He rushed to the bathroom and just barely made it to the toilet. He didn't even have time to adjust himself on the floor.

Many tears fell as he wept in between breaths.

A mysterious hand pulled his hair back away from his face. Most likely it belonged to Pickles. After a few minutes of his sick moment, Toki could finally catch a quivering breath.

"When I was little boy," Toki began to explain to Pickles in a shaky tone, "I hads no company. No friends. My parents hated and abused me. De band is all I haves now. But nones of yous cares about me, either. I thought at least Na'tan dids. But I guess I was wrongs about all ofs yous."

Instead of hearing Pickles North Mideastern accent, Toki heard a much deeper familiar voice.

"I do care about you, Toki," said Nathan who had knelt down beside him. Toki slowly looked over at him. "I always did." Toki wiped his mouth and grinned. "Is that why you'd been drinking like this?"

"I just wanted to knows for sure ifs I meant anythings to yous."

"You know...you could have just asked and I would have been honest." Toki stared for a moment, then turned back in front of him.

Toki said shaking his head, "Damn it." Then, vomited some more.


End file.
